Another marauders pass notes in class
by jenoncaluvkaiba
Summary: the Marauders pass notes. moony is sarcastic, everyone wants to know if Padfoot is dirty minded as always, Prongs is being Prongs and Wormtail is well wormtail. will lily stop saying no and why the hell is severus in a note - chpt 19 & 20 are corrected
1. Chapter 1

**JENONCA**- so here is a note fic as I wanted to do one too. On a further note I am continuing my other stories soon. Please read and review.

I don't own Harry Potter as usual.

James

**Sirius **

_Remus_

**Peter **

Moony I'm bored.

_Go bother Padfoot then, I'm trying to take notes here._

But mooonny

**Padfoot in da crib**

Hey Padfoot

**Hi prongs **

_You did not just speak gangster mate_

**So?**

_You're not a gangster Sirius_

**Well neither's your mum**

**Hey prongs lily is looking this way **

YEAH LILYKINS

**Prongs GET OVER HER**

_Oh that nice Sirius and here I thought you were supportive about James loving lily, don't insult my mother mutt boy_

I WILL NEVER GET OVER MY LILY

**Ooh mutt boy that's a good one **

**Sirius is surpostive Remus **

_First of its supportive not surpostive second I was being sarcastic _

**Oh right I knew that**

**Moony you being sarcastic to me you wound me furry friend **

LILY WHY ISN'T SHE LOOKING THIS WAY

_Prongs please relieve us of the headache of reading your capital letters and Padfoot don't call me your furry friend _

**NO THE CAPTIALS OF DOOM, RUN! FOR YOUR LIVES THE'RE GOING TO KILL US **

**Why is prongs writing in capitals **

Why won't lily go out of me am I hopeless

_Of course not my friend she just needs time that's all _

**Why won't anyone answer my question? **

**Coz you're an idiot Wormtail **

**Maybe Evans is lesbian prongs **

DON'T SAY THAT DON'T EVEN THINK IT

_Padfoot I highly doubt Lily is a lesbian_

**Just because you're gay doesn't mean Lily is **

**No I bloody well aren't and I'm not saying that coz I'm a homophobic coz I'm not **

_Oh homophobic such a big word for a wittle baby like you paddy_

**I so too know big words **

Hold on you're gay Padfoot

**No I bloody are not! **

_That sentence was wrong you should have wrote I am not gay _

**What are you a teacher? **

**Yes prongs Sirius is gay **

**I AM NOT!!**

**Oh so that was your twin brother making out with that blonde guy in 5th year**

_Oh my god this is to good to be true the shagger of the year is GAY!_

**LET ME EXPLAIN, I'M NOT GAY!**

Ok Pads explain I'm trying not to laugh by the way

**OK here's what happened I was confused if I was 100% straight as all guys wonder in their life, ANYWAY! I snogged that blonde as a test and I hated it **

Padfoot kissed a boy and liked it

**I DIDN'T LIKE IT **

_HAHA PADFOOT IS GAY_

So who's your next tester Sirius?

**That's it I'm out of here **

_He actually went guess he is in denial _

**Denial is in Egypt Moony **

_That's the Nile Peter, oh hell McGonagall is coming _

Hey Wormtail want to annoy Sirius

**Ok then **

_LLLLLJJJJLLLLLJJJJLLLLLJJJ_

**JENONCA- **so what do you think there will be more soon please review.


	2. chapter 2

JENONCA- well here's chapter 2. I don't own Harry potter. Please read and review. Rating is up due to certain topics and swearing. Lily guest stars in this one by the way.

James

**Sirius **

_Remus_

**Peter **

_Lily_

**Hey Sirius what does necrophilia mean?**

**Go ask moony**

**Ok **

**-----------------------------**

**Moony what does necrophilia mean?**

_I'd rather not say _

**But moony I need to know**

_WHY?_

**Macnair said I'm into necrophilia and I don't know what it means so I need to know because I don't know if I do it**

_I certainly hope you don't, Ignore Macnair peter_

**Just tell me moony **

_Alight, necrophilia means that you have sexual relations (sex) with dead bodies _

**That's disgusting moony**

_You asked. Not me _

**I feel sick **

_Go see the matron then _

**Ok **

Psst Padfoot

**Did you really write that sound, are you feeling alright mate**

Yeah I was just being funny

Lily's looking this way

**You know she's gay**

Not that again she's not gay

**Yeah she is **

No she's not, what the hell are you eating

**Sushi **

Sushi? What the hell is Sushi?

**Japanese Raw meat idiot **

Raw meat that's gross

**Gross since when did you start speaking like a girl, is there something you're not telling me **

Piss of mate

**Ooh Prongsie is a girlie so did your mum flip a coin and decided to raise you as a boy **

I'm a bloke I can prove it

**No thanks I don't want to see your wang **

I thought you were gay

**Kissing a bloke ONE TIME doesn't make a man gay **

Yeah you keep telling your self that

**I'm Sirius I'm not gay **

You know mate that pun is so over used, its carbon overused

**Is that even a phase **

Nope

**Looks like I've got a hot date tonight **

?

**Nina's looking my way batting her eyelashes **

Mate aren't you forgetting something

**Nope **

How about hell yeah

**NO I'VE GONE INSANE SOMEONE STOLE MY MOJO WORDS**

Well we can all agree you're insane

_For once I agree with you Potter_

LILY! How nice of you to join us devilishly handsome guys

**Who said you could join **

I did, my luscious lily can join when ever she wants.

_Back of Potter _

**It's not James's fault he wants to go down on you pussy**

_BLACK! YOU DEPRAVED GIT HOW DARE YOU _

I'm so sorry for Sirius behaviour lilykins I shall hit him on the head for you

**OW!**

_He deserves a slap Potter not a hit up the side of the head_

Be my guest

_Fine _

**OW! You people are nasty to me what did I do to deserve this punishment **

_How about being an idiot since I've met you _

**HEY! I'm not an idiot **

_Hello James, Sirius and lily _

_Hi Remus _

**Hey Moony **

Hi

_Oh look gay man got slapped by the one and only lily Evans_

**Piss of Wolfe I'm not gay **

Oh we're back to the gay part again

_Black is gay_

**NO!**

_Yeah he is, he's just in denial _

_Potter is it true Black's gay _

Haven't a clue, he won't tell us expect that he once kissed a boy

_You kissed a boy_

**And hated it **

_Well I guess Anna and Julie will be delighted to here about this _

**Why? Don't you dare tell anyone **

_If you pee me off I will the girls like boy on boy action _

Lily can do anything she wants Padfoot DON'T threaten her in front of me

**Lily flower you wouldn't would you, you know you love me **

_No I don't idiot, I seem to recall rejecting you when you flirted with me _

That dear Evans was a joke to annoy you

_Yeah and didn't that turn out just dandy _

Oh yeah that's when I put you in the hospital wing

**I'm still annoyed at you for that **

Where's Peter

_Hospital wing _

**Why?**

_He wanted to know what necrophilia meant, need I say more _

_Why on earth would he want to know that?_

_Macnair said Peter does that sort of thing _

More like Macnair does

**Guys do Vampires count as Necrophilia? coz I've always wanted to do a female vamp **

_Gross Black _

_That was disgusting for even you Padfoot _

I second that

_Quick Flickwick's coming _

LILY GO OUT WITH ME

_NO!_

**------------------------**

**JENONCA- **so did you like it? Please review.


	3. Chapter 3

**JENONCA**- I don't own Harry Potter I won't ever. Please read and review. Thanks to all my reviewers so far. I don't own Twilight either. Just for the record I love Twilight.

James

**Sirius **

_Remus _

**Peter **

_lily_

_Black _

**yes Evans**

_are you related to a guy named Jacob Black _

**who?**

_Jacob Black _

**Who is he your boyfriend **

_No! _

**So why do you want to know**

_I want to kill him _

**Whats this Jacob done to you?**

_I want to kill him because he tricked Bella into kissing him so now she might not get back with Edward- _

**Whoa! Whoa! Stop right there Lilykins what in blazing hell my mother should be in are you on about. **

_She's on about Twilight well attacully the thing she mention is in one of the Twilight books. _

**What the hell is Twilight Moony **

_It's a book about a girl called Bella who moves to this town and she meets this Vampire called Edward and she soon falls in love with him and he with her._

**So it's a shitty romance book **

_Its not shit and its only partly a romance book as later on there is some action because a vampire called James tries to kill Bella_

**James? Wait hold on how does this Jacob come into it…not that I really care**

_DON'T YOU EVER CALL TWILIGHT THAT WORD BLACK OR I'LL SKIN YOU ALIVE_

_Jacob is Bella's bestfriend and falls in love with her; he later on acts on this and kisses Bella. _

**So does this vampire Edward kick Jacob's ass for messing with his woman **

_No he doesn't I really want him as well as Jacob deserves it. _

Oh just great you're all talking about that bloody Twilight all the girls are going on about bloody Edward Cullen

_OI POTTER DON'T BE MEAN ABOUT TWILIGHT _

Sorry lily

**Whipped **

Piss off mate I'm not whipped

_For him to be whipped he'd have to be dating me _

Lily please tell me you're not apart of the E.C.F.C

_E.C.F.C?_

Edward Cullen Fan Club

**Please that's not as big as my fan club the S.B.F.C**

_Actually black your fan girl numbers have gone down due to Edward Cullen_

_At least you have more fans than Jacob_

**Why the hell do I have to beaten by a gay vampire who shags something that he clearly wants to eat **

**I thought you wanted to shag a vamp**

**Your point **

**I really don't know **

_I've got to go to the meeting starting _

Meeting?

_The Edward Cullen meeting_

NO!! EDWARD CULLEN IS STEALING MY GIRL THAT VAMPIRE BETTER FUCK OFF BEFORE I STAKE HIM

_Er Prongs these vampires can't be killed by a piece of wood it takes cutting their head off and burning them to ashes. _

FINE I'LL DO THAT THEN

**What about the sun?**

_They sparkle in the sun, it doesn't kill them _

DIE EDWARD CULLEN DIE

**Ha prongs has turned into a psycho **

_Oh just great McGonagall is coming this way_

**JENONCA**-I know its short but I couldn't think of anything else to put in this chapter. By the way Emmett Cullen is my fav Cullen he ties with Jasper. Edward is my second fav.


	4. Chapter 4

**JENONCA**- I don't own anything expect my soul. Anyway I bet there are those of you who think ok this random is there even a plot to this?. Why yes there is James and lily end up together later on in the notes it'll be a while though.

James

**Sirius **

_Remus _

**Peter **

_Did you see him?_

**See who?**

_Prongs of course _

**What about him?**

**GUYS DID YOU SEE PRONGS HE SCARING ME!!**

**What's he done? **

_You seriously didn't notice _

**He killed his hair its golden red **

**WHAT! HE DYED HIS HAIR!**

_Yeah _

**Why!**

_It the same colour as Edward's hair _

**Edward?**

**Who's Edward?**

_The vampire in twilight that Lily likes_

**That's kind of gay why couldn't he pretended to be James Bond, he's cooler **

**Who's James Bond**

**You did not just ask whose James Bond you…you…damn i can't think anything good enough **

_Padfoot aren't you forgetting Wormtail doesn't pay attention to Muggle movies. _

**James Bond is a person isn't he **

_That's obvious wormtail_

**Damn it wormtail, James Bond is the coolest spy ever he's British and he kicks ass and in every movie he shags a woman how cool is that he's a womaniser **

**Hold on isn't he that guy prongs pretended to be to impress lily, you know when he had that tux**

_Correct Wormtail _

**Here come prongs, his hair isn't scary it's gay like i said ha ha**

_You said that's gay not it's gay _

**What are you a teacher?**

_Whatever _

**Someone's pmsing today ha ha **

**Pmsing?**

_I AM NOT PMSING YOU IDOIT _

**JEZZS calm down moony or am i gonna have to get the matron to give you tampons?**

_I DON'T NEED TAMPONS, I'M NOT A WOMAN!!_

**Messer wormtail would like to say he confused **

**Yeah you do need them we all know you bitch like a woman =)**

**What is that at the end of your sentence **

**Piss off wormtail me and Moony old pal are in a shouting match **

**You're not shouting though**

**GET LOST OR I'LL TELL EVERYONE ABOUT MY PINKEY!!**

**HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY PINKEY!**

**COZ I KNOW EVERYTHING!!**

_PADFOOT I'M GOING TO RIP YOU TO PEICES!!_

**FOR HELLS SAKE MOONY DEMATIC MUCH, STOP PRE MOON SYNDROMEING ME!!**

_THAT'S IT YOU'RE DEAD_

**What did i do? Did i screw you're girlfriend?**

**Messer Wormtail would like to say that Messer Moony has attacked Messer Padfoot, they are fighting, **

**Messer Prongs has looked over from Evans and looks as confused as i feel, Messer Moony has just winded Messer Padfoot, Messer Prongs and Evans are trying to break them apart, **

**Oh Messer Padfoot just insulted Messer Moony that he only has chocolate to deal with his woman back pains, apparently he is still PMSing, **

**Messer Moony just shaved Messer Padfoot hair and he is now crying holding what remains of his hair, Messer Moony looks pleased, Messer Prongs with his scary hair and Evans are looking at Messer Moony in shock. **

**Messer Wormtail would like say he is still confused and wonders if Messer Moony would stop being mean to Messer Padoot because Messer Padfoot is right Messer Moony is PMSing **

Hey Wormtail

**ARRGH **

?

**NO THE GOLDEN RED HAIR OF DOOM KEEP IT AWAY NO PRONGS STAY AWAY YOU'RE KILLING ME WITH YOUR STUPID HAIR **

There nothing wrong with my hair idiot what the hell are you, gay?

**No that's Padfoot remember **

Just great hide the parchment Wormtail

**NO HAIR STAY AWAY HAIR ARRGH**

For the love of lily Evans stop being a wimp

JENONCA- yeah sorry about not having James in it until the end, hope you liked this chapter even if it's not as funny as the other please review.


	5. Chapter 5

**JENONCA-** ok here is chapter five sorry for the delay. As usual please read and review.

I don't own anything

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

**Peter **

What's up Padfoot

**Well let me guess a certain thing attacked my beautiful hair**

It's been a week Padfoot *sighs*

**So, would you like me to skin of your hair, heck even make it greasy like snivellus **

Whoa someone's grouchy today

_Guys take notes there for our exams _

There two years away mate that's ages

_O. ARE IMPORTANT!!!!_

**Mate could you tell that PMSer to piss off**

You tell him

**No**

That's immature

**You know maturity **

....

Fine Remus Sirius says piss off

**No tell Sirius i won't**

Not you too!!!!

Sighs fine remus says he won't

**Tell him hair destroyers aren't allowed to write on this parchment**

Sirius says....

_You deserved it_

**Did not **

_Did too_

**DID NOT**

_DID TOO_

**DID NOT**

_DID TOO_

**DID NOT**

_DID TOO _

**HAIR KILLER**

_BRAT_

**FASHION HATER **

_INSENSITIVE GERK _

Ok when I'm marvelling at immaturity, be scared

.....

**.....**

Well at least you've stop fighting

**Whats going on **

Pad and moon were fighting

**Padfoot's hair right**

Yeah

_Still deserved it _

**Did not **

Am i gonna have to give you two a time out

**Oi**

_We're not children_

Stop acting like one then

**AGHHH PRONGS' ACTING SENSIBLE**

I have my moments you know

**Yeah of stupidity**

OI

_I agree with Sirius _

Not you too!

**Well at least their not fighting**

Tell them i'm not stupid pete

**You are too stupid**

Am not

**Are too **

ARE NOT

**ARE TOO**

AM NOT

**ARE TOO**

ARE NOT

**ARE TOO **

ARE NOT

**ARE TOO**

ARE TOO

**ARE NOT**

HA HA now who's the stupid one pads

**DAMN YOU, WHEN YOU GO TO BED I'M GONNA SPIT IN YOUR MOUTH**

_Disgusting_

**EWWW EWWW**

Don't you even dare or I'll testify against you like i did to Michael Jackson

_Isn't he dead_

**HE'S DEAD**

**Ding dong the pedo's dead **

_Yeah for months now _

**Wait MJ's a pedo**

Well duh why else did he have a fair ground in his backyard?

**To recreate his stolen children**

**Yeah sure *cough* bullshit*cough***

More like to touch little kids

**He was found innocent you know**

**Yeah sure by paying off the families **

_Seriously Peter even i thought he was guilty and I'm not judgemental _

You know Jackson couldn't of been more suspicious if his house was made out of sweets

**LOL good one prongs **

I heard of a good joke about him

**Yeah what**

Apparently Michael Jackson is going to be melted into scraps and made as lego blocks which means the kids will get to play with him instead

_That's actually not a bad joke _

**You know many people didn't believe about MJ but everyone believed Garry glitter screwed those young girls just go to show the more famous you are the more you get away with **

_Did you know MJ only let his kids have one toy each and gave the rest to Africa? _

Seriously i would be livid if it had been me

**Yeah lol you've done what dad, so you're telling me i only can get that X box i wanted if i go to Africa and get AIDS, livid!!**

_Sirius that's a little extreme _

Well he is a fan of Jimmy Carr

**Jimmy who **

**Oh great flickwicks coming this way **

**JENONCA- **hope you liked it, if you were offended by anything in this chapter my apologies.

Please review thanks


	6. Chapter 6

JENONCA- here's another chapter. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. Please read and review.

Me not own harry potter

James

_Remus_

**Sirius**

**Peter **

**Hi**

**Anyone gonna answer me**

**Ah come on i'm bored stiff**

**DAMN IT ANSWER ME**

Geez put your purse away

**Oi i just wanted to talk**

_We're sitting at the table in the great hall what's the point, talk normal_

Nothing's normal when it comes to Sirius

**I resent that**

_That may be true but seriously why, no pun intended _

**I hate you guys**

_Good_

Hey moony why aren't you being sarcastic

**OH MY GOD MOONY NOT BEING SARCASTIC THE HORROR**

_I just don't feel like, prat_

Are you ok you seem down?

_I'm fine really_

You sure

**Jeez prongs are you an agony aunt, i'm half expecting you to pour him a nice cuppa**

And that's why i never talk serious to you Sirius

**Well i guess i just too much of an idiot to be serious **

_......._

**Don't all rush to disagree!**

You're not stupid

**Thanks prongs**

_*cough*liar*couch* _

**Oi you're crossing the line mate**

_Oh go shove yourself into a pigsty _

I'm sure the dorm is free

**Oi what you saying**

Oh come on surely you've realised how disgusting it is around your bed

**Hey it's fit for a king**

_Yeah a pig king_

Well he does eat like a pig

**Hey i'm not as bad as peter at least i bathe **

Well he has a point

**I can smell him from here he's making me puke **

_How do you think i feel i have a higher sense of smell than either of you do_

_James what have you done now _

What do you mean?

_Lily's coming this way and she looks pissed _

I haven't done anything i swear pads back me up

**Nah mate you in for it this time**

What's the worst she can do?

_You mean besides Castrate you _

**Kick you in the balls**

_Send you down into the lake _

**Make the giant squid fall for you**

_Transfigure you into women clothes_

**Beat you up in front of our fellow school mates**

_Destroy your hair_

**Break you're broom**

_Break your wand_

**Stick your wand up your...**

Ok i get it but besides that what can she do

**HAHAHAHAHA**

_Turn you into a pink pony with blue hair apparently _

**Ha ha I'm never gonna let prongs forget this **

_Neither will i _

**My little pony oh my little pony **

_What that's you're singing pete_

**Something my cousin sings when i'm home for the holidays prongs look just like one of her my little pony toys **

_Really suits him_

**Ha ha ha **

Anyone know what he did

**Yeah he sent her a poem Sirius told him to write which involved screwing her and prongs also sent a shirt saying kiss me i'm Irish **

_Oh right knowing Sirius and i do James deserves all he gets _

**Ohh lunch is over **

**JENONCA- thanks for reading hope you liked it. i don't know when the next chapter is up most likely next or longer i'm not sure as i have work to do. **


	7. Chapter 7

JENONCA- chapter 7 lol i got this quicker than expected. please read and review

I don't own anything

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

**Peter**

flickwick

**This is so boring**

_Tell me about it _

Bored doesn't cover it

**I'm so hungry i could eat a horse**

**Speaking of horses fancy being one again prongs**

Nope , it's your fault

**Is not**

Is too

_Don't start that again _

**Someone's cranky today**

_Well if a certain someone hadn't been teasing James all night i might of gotten some sleep _

**I had to tease right sunshine **

Fuck off

**Hey that's your nickname mate **

Is not

**Prefer buttercup**

_Isn't that a name of a powerpuff girl_

**You what **

**I like powerpuff girls**

_That's for kids peter _

You forgetting pete is a kid moony

**Yeah..he's rig-hey!!**

**Haha**

**Come on sunshine lets go for a ride**

Piss of mate it's not funny

**Is too**

I'll tell lily you wrote the poem then we'll see who laughing

**NNOOO DON'T PLEEASE!!!**

Now now boys care to tell me why you're writing to each other during lesson

Sorry sir

**Yeah profess **

_I'll just get back to my notes _

Good hurry up or i'll be forced to dock points 

**Right you are professor**

JENONCA- sorry it's short i wanted a teacher to catch them and i couldn't think what else put


	8. Chapter 8

**JENONCA**- here is another note, hope you like. Please review,

I've noticed i have a lot of hits but only 8 reviews, if you like it or not drop me line so i know i'm going somewhere with this, for those who have reviewed thanks again and please feel free to read more. On a further note i don't know when the next note is up as i'm deep into my coursework. A levels are hard, believe me. Oh and when i have the time too i will correct mistakes on previous chapters.

If anyone gets the evil pixie Alice part well done to you.

I don't own anything

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

**Peter**

**Hey mate what's up with Evans she took one look at snivellus and looked like she would cry**

**How should we know Pete**

_They've stopped being friends back before last summer remember when he called her the M word_

**Oh yeah that prick deserves everything he gets...WHAT THEY WERE FREINDS **

_Yes_

**But..but that's...like being friends with a dementor or some evil pixie **

**Evil pixie?**

_Evil pixies what have you been reading!_

Sirius can read i didn't know that

**OI i can read, i read a book just the other day**

Yeah on how to charm witches

**Why would you need that? all girls chat you up**

_Aww has the female population finally realised what an idiot you are _

Maybe he's lost his charm

**I HAVE NOT AND I'M NOT AN IDIOT**

Yes you...wait what's this about Lily

_Nothing_

**She looked sad today **

**Thanks a lot wormtail **

NOOO MY TIGER LILY'S IN UPSET I MUST CHEER HER UP

_Now you've done it _

**Done what?**

_Never mind_

**GUYS back to my problem...i mean situation...yeah that's... what i meant**

_Which one, lack off girls or evil pixies? _

**I hate you so much **

**What's James doing?**

**I don't care**

_Trying to hug her_

**Jeez i don't see the big deal so snivellus upset her who cares it's not like she's in love with him**

_Not commenting_

**Huh?**

**HAHA that would be funny wouldn't it, snivellus and Evans HAHA**

**EWWW SNIVELLUS AND EVANS DATING **

_Who cares she clearly cares about him_

**Well prongs finally stands a chance if she can care about a deatheater prongs will win her over in no time**

_Its sixth year and he still hasn't got her to date him_

**I have faith in him, if he doesn't win her over then he'll just have to buy a cat**

_?_

**That's what lonely people do: they buy cats...don't they?**

_Apparently!_

**haha **

**You're making fun aren't you?**

_Whatever gave you that idea! _

**NOOO THE EVIL PIXIES ARE BACK, NO STAY AWAY ALICE**

_Who's Alice?_

**THE EVIL PIXIE QUEEN**

_Okaaay forget i even asked_

**What's wrong moony**

_I'm having aneurism due to Sirius's stupidity_

**Hey guess what**

_What?_

**I can fly **

_... .... yes, yes you can Sirius _

**SO CAN I SIRIUS!!!**

_And there goes another aneurism _

Well that was success she didn't hit me

_Congratulations, i'm going to see the matron _

Are you ill or something

_Yes i have developed Sirius-Stupidity-Syndrome _

*raises eyebrows*

Oh great Moony has gone and Sirius and peter are being weird

**Hey come join us mate**

For what?

**A vampire ride **

**No Pete we're doing spider monkey rides **

Okaaay, you're easily distracted

**No i'm - HEY IS THAT GIRL SPARKLING **

WHERE?

**JENONCA**- hope you found that funny. Anyone get the spider monkey, vampire ride, sparkling and i can fly references?


	9. Chapter 9

JENONCA- first of there is only one more twilight reference and expect bashing, had an argument with fellow twilight fan who said its better then BUFFY so i got mad and we argued reasons why they were better and i thought i'd share it with you all through the marauders having same argument with a bit of originality. By the way if you feel like it drop me a line in the reviews on which you think is better and list some reason if you want. Btw BUFFY pwns Twilight Thanks

The i can fly reference is from the team four star abridged series (dragonball z) and vampire ride, queen pixie Alice as well as spider money is indeed from twilight i seem to be on a twilight high at the moment it's like a drug, you wouldn't read it normally as the author can't write for s&%t yet you just can't help but read it...yeah that's what it is too me except that jasper and Emmett are great characters, screw Edward he's a pussy.

I don't own harry potter, twilight, BUFFY or anything else mentioned.

James

**Sirius **

_Remus _

**Peter **

_Lily _

**Damn that Buffy is hot**

Who?

**Buffy summers idiot**

I prefer red heads

**Buffy maybe hot but Bella is hotter **

**Is not **

**Not only that, twilight is better than BUFFY**

**You..i ...how dare you BUFFY is better**

**Is not **

**Is too**

_Peter BUFFY kicks twilight's arse as it's about real vampires and is has a lot more than twilight not only that it's interesting _

**Twilight is interesting **

**Yeah if you like sparkly drag queens, knob jockey**

**Is too**

**Is not**

_Buffy could kick Edwards arse_

**Could not Edward can't be stakes so ha **

**So Buffy can defeat death she's died twice and is still alive **

_Not to mention she kicked the first arse and save the world AGAIN_!

**Damn it, James isn't twilight better than Buffy **

ANYTHING is better than twilight

**Well said mate **

**Hey twilight rocks**

_Last i looked this is earth _

_May i please put what i think? _

Of course Lily

_Thank you, twilight is nothing compared to BUFFY because Buffy isn't a Mary sue and people can relate to her in some way_

_Also she had forbidden love with the vampire with a soul A.K.A Angel _

**Yeah but Edward left Bella to keep her safe so that means twilight is better as Edward loves Bella much more than Angel loved Buffy**

**Pfft , yeah sure at least Angel had a valid reason for leaving Buffy because of the curse he had, Angel can't be with Buffy or he'll turn evil once he's truly happy, Ed pussy only left Bella so he wouldn't get her hurt, which is stupid as Bella can get hurt on her own doing.**

_Not only that Pads don't forget Edward won't have sex with Bella coz he's an over protective dick were as Angel couldn't, again, because of the curse _

**At least Edward can be with Bella and their love is more meaningful because she is his singer**

**Angel gave up his humanity for Buffy Pete so that gives props to BUFFY**

**So Edward would die for Bella **

_Angel DID die for Buffy, assuming her killing him and sending him to hell counts _

**So Edward gave a Bella a child and was willing to die for his daughter **

**Who cares!**

_Buffy died for her made up Sister Dawn and saved the world _

**Bella has her best friend Jacob and loves him **

_So she lead him on and broke his heart, at least Buffy didn't lead Spike on when she got with him, he knew where he stood and that Buffy would never love him _

**Jacob is prepared to do anything for Bella**

**All he wanted was a shag**

**So did spike want a shag of Buffy**

_Spike became good for Buffy and saved the world for her all out of love, Jacob would of never of done that for Bella _

**Come on Evans you like twilight too**

_That i may, BUFFY rules hands down on twilight, BUFFY is original were as twilight has taken BUFFY characters and made them into terrible characters as well as taken interview with the vampire characters _

**Did not **

_I'll prove it _

_Bella- is a weak version of Buffy but has willow's keen observing nature and Buffy's kindness _

_Jacob- hopelessly in love with Bella like Spike is with Buffy, hates Edward likes Spike hates Angel, is protective of Bella like Xander is of Buffy, he also has Spikes cockiness _

_Alice- has visions just like Drucilla, was tracked down by a sadistic vampire like Dru, _

_Rosalie - is like Darla with her beauty and hates Bella coz Edward likes her _

_Edward- is a mix between Dracula, can read minds like Dracula, stalks women like Dracula, uses charm on women like Dracula, he loves a human like Angel, has a face of an Angel, (this is Angel's description), leaving speech is similar to Angel's, he is cryptic like Angel when he is talking _

_Esme- she is just like Buffy's mom Joyce, doesn't think the worse of people and always has a motherly attitude towards people _

_Carlisle- just like Loius out of interview with a vampire, doesn't want to drink human blood and is conscious of suffering of humans. He also is like Giles prepared to protect Bella and sees her as a daughter and loves books and knowledge like Giles _

_Jasper - he is like spike in a way, he thinks with his feelings, Spike had a relationship with Dru, Jasper with Alice, thinks like spike when it comes to fighting _

_Emmett- jokes like Xander and sees the fun in life like Gunn from Angel, is ready for battle like Gunn _

_Charlie- he is like Giles, doesn't get into much action but he does care about Bella, like Giles cares about Buffy _

_Jessica- just like harmony, she is only friends with those who are popular, also fancies Edward like Cordy first did with Angel _

_Lauren- she bitchy like Cordy and thinks she hates Bella _

_Angelina- she is kind and perceptive like willow, Bella also made a joke about her being a witch, willow is a witch _

_Ben- he is kind like Oz and cares for Angelina, like Oz cares about Willow _

_James- he is just like Angelus, tracks his victims, plays games with them, likes a challenge, treats killing like an art, like to piss people off, get obsessed with people who have special powers, he wanted Alice just like Angelus wanted Dru for the same reason, visions!_

_Victoria- defends James like Darla does for Angelus _

_Laurent- is like Faith he doesn't care as long as he get what he wants _

_Aro- like the master, he values vampires as collections and think of himself as king _

_Jane- crazy like Dru and loves to torture like Angelus and Dru _

_I think I've proved my point _

_That you have lily _

**Suck on that Pete **

Are they really that similar?

_Yeah twilight's just a rubbish version of BUFFY _

Hey Pete's speechless

**We won as i knew we would **

Good one lily

**JENONCA-** yeah that wasn't funny oh well hope you enjoyed reading it. By the way if you don't believe Twilight is a rip off BUFFY i suggest you compare them closely.


	10. Chapter 10

**Jenonca**- hello readers and reviewers, same thing really, anyway i been delayed a bit so here is this chapter and a few more after it, depending on how many i upload, I'll let you know on my last upload before Christmas. I have four more days to up load including this (Monday 14th December 09).

I don't own anything

Please as usual read and review

James

**Sirius **

_Remus_

**Peter **

_Lily_

_**Severus **_

**Bird, bird, bird the word bird bird**

_What!_

**Remus have you heard the word**

_What's the word?_

**Birds the word, bird, bird the bird birds the word....**

SHUT UP PADFOOT I WISH I'D NEVER BROUGHT THAT FOR YOU NOW

_I'm confused as i usually am when Sirius speaks_

I brought a record called birds the word and he won't shut up

_When did you give him this i should off heard him say that by now, but then again i ignore what he says as a rule_

**Birds the word, bird, bird the bird birds the word....**

Since this morning mum sent it to me by owl

_Oh right well i'm off to bash my head against something _

Can i join you?

_Nope _

**BIRD , BIRD, BIRDS THE WORD, THE BIRD, BIRD, B- B- BIRD**

PADFOOT knock it off

**No one cares about the bird (pretends to cry)**

**I do **

Oh not you too Wormtail can't you ever have an original thought

**Original what **

Never mind i'm off to find Lily

**More like stalk her **

I'm not a STALKER

**Yeah sure and that collage of pictures of her, the head band she 'lost' and the sweet wrapper she threw away has nothing to do you not being a stalker **

I'M NOT A STALKER, all that stuff is to find out what she likes...where she hangs so she'll fall for me, i can't help if she just happens to drop something by me and i just happen to pick it up, and i just happen to have a camera on me when she walks by or is sleeping in the common room, man she's an angel when she sleeps

**Right, that's so not what a stalker would do**

I'm not a stalker I'm an observer

**I always wondered how you came up with marauder as our gang name, i've looked up you know and it means prowler which means stalker**

For fucks sake i'm not a stalker

**Right you keep telling yourself that **

**No fair Sirius now James is gone **

**He didn't have to if he admitted i'm right, anyway since he's off stalking Evans want to prank snivellus**

**Aright but don't get me in trouble again mum said she'll send me a howler next time**

**I never get you in trouble pete **

**Who does then? **

**Snivellus remember he the one who tales on us **

**Let's go then **

**Mwhahahahaha what a sucker someone has to take the fall for me **

Hey lily

_What do you want potter_

You know the Halloween hogsmeade trip is coming up and i thought you and i can go together

_No _

Why not

_Cause i said so _

But lily if i put you and i in the alphabet we go together

_But you're name is James and i'm lily there for i must date either a K or a M, lame chat up line _

What if i push K and M off a cliff

_That leaves me N _

And J

_Nope only N _

Ok i push N off

_O_

And him as well

_P_

P, Q.R

_That leaves S which means i should date Severus rather than you _

Yeah like you would date snivellus

_He's hell a lot better than you _

He called you the M word

_At least he isn't my personal stalker _

Since when do i stalk you

_Every second of the day_

Come on lily go out with me please pretty please

_It's not attractive to beg you know_

At least i am attractive unlike snivellus

_It's not about looks Potter! _

If it's not then why won't you date me?

_Because you're an arrogant git that's why _

No i'm not

_Go away Potter _

Not till you say yes

_No_

Why

_Because no_

How about yes

_How about no_

Yes

_No_

Please

_No_

What if i stop hexing people

_No_

Stop hexing snivellus

_No_

Brought you flowers

_No_

Did my homework

_No_

Can't you say anything other than no?

_No_

_**May i join this conversation? **_

_Severus_

No way snivellus

_Leave him alone Potter _

Oh right stick up for the future death eater

_**Shut the hell up Potter**_

Make me

_**I would love too**_

_STOP FIGHTING_

Sorry Lily

_**My apologies Lily **_

How dare you talk to her

_**Get lost Potter i want to talk to Lily on her own**_

_What about Severus i told i won't forgive you_

_**I know but i still need you too**_

Piss of snivellus go wash your hair

_**Go inflate your insufferable over large head **_

Why you i hex you

_**Bring it **_

_STOP THIS NOW_

Slimeball

_**Bastard**_

Dickwad

_**Dingbat **_

_I give up _

_Just great their fighting i'd better sort this out _

**Jenonca**- did you like me putting Severus in if you did i may include him in future chapters just maybe anyway hope you liked it and please review


	11. Chapter 11

Jenonca- another chapter today aren't i good to you, readers since i usually do one chapter and leave this fanfic alone for weeks.

As usual i don't own harry potter or anything

Please read and review

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

**Peter**

**Haha**

Don't laugh Sirius

**Can't help it**

_That not nice Sirius_

**Never said it was, i just can't believe it **

**Believe what**

**That snivellus won the fight **

**He did**

_You were there peter_

**Oh yeah i forgot **

_It was only yesterday wormtail_

**Who knew snivellus knew muggle fighting **

I hate you so much Sirius

**Prongs only lost to snivellus because we weren't there to help him**

Are you saying i couldn't a handle a fight on my own pete

**Well yes **

I hate you too

**No don't hate me please i'm sorry **

_Padfoot where did you get those muggle crisps _

**A house elf gave them to me **

Why are you so surprised? padfoot always eating

**Well excuse me we can't all be anorexic bitches like you**

_That's uncalled for Padfoot apologise _

**How about no **

_How about i kick your arse instead than James can laugh at you _

**Jeez sorry prongs**

Whatever Sirius

**My nipples are hard**

**What the hell wormtail**

**Just breaking the tension **

_Looks like you look a leaf out sirius's book_

**I wouldn't say that**

_Right of course not!_

**I wouldn't tell him prongs**

Anyone writing anything

**Prongs**

Guess not

**Damn it prongs **

Got something to say moony

**PRONGS **

What about you wormtail

**James Connor Potter i swear i will tear you a new one if you don't answer me **

What's that wormtail

**Fine ignore me see if i care**

_It's like living with South Park kids _

**Kenny, Cartman, Stan, Kyle?**

_Yes_

**Yay i got it right **

Hey my best friends Remus and Peter want to go hang out in the common after this lesson

**Alright **

_What about Sirius_

Sirius who

**Why can't Sirius move his hand?**

_I don't know: did you do something James?_

Done what?

_To Sirius_

To who

_Never mind _

**Thanks moony**

_No prob_

**You know what's weird we're sitting in lesson writing to each other, Sirius is eating and we haven't been caught what's up with that**

**Thanks now you've jinxed us **

**How have i jinxed us?**

_What you said, now we're going to get caught it's the ultimate jinx _

**You never know this time might be different**

**Just great wormtail i got my crisps taken away because of you dickwad**

Thankfully we haven't been caught

_Famous last words_

Wanna write notes in detention

**If we're in the same one**

Yeah the three of us

**Hello do i not exist or something i'm sitting right... am i invisible or something.....apparently i am **

**I can see you**

_Stop being immature Prongs_

Me immature never, how could you say something like that!

_Alright then who's Sirius Black_

A back stabber

**Screw you prongs**

**Kiss and make up you guys**

I'm not gay

**Neither am i **

Yes you are

**Are not**

Are too

**Are not**

_SHUT UP_

Sorry Moony

**The moon must be full soon**

_Enough with the werewolf comments _

**Never**

You're fighting a losing battle there Remus

**My hand hurts I'm going to sleep **

_Peter we're in charms _

**Your point**

_Charms is important Sirius _

***snore* **

**Jenonca- **we there's chapter 11 hope you liked it review please. On a further note other chapters will be uploaded most likely on Thursday and then i won't be uploading until the first week or two of January 2010


	12. Chapter 12

Jenonca- here's chapter 12, not sure how many more i'm doing before Christmas but i know by Thursday, this Thursday by the way (Thursday 17th that is)

Thanks to all my reviewers so far i can't believe i have over thousand yet so little reviews not that I'm whining or anything i just like to know what people think of my fanfictions.

I don't own anything

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

**Peter **

**I'm livid i tell you livid **

Padfoot knows the word livid

**What's livid mean?**

_Get a dictionary _

**You are my dictionary **

_Oh sorry i wasn't aware i was a walking object _

**HEY get back to me**

Attention seeker

**At least i don't do it to get Lily's attention **

_Back to the topic, why are you angry Sirius?_

**The damn gits i'll tell ya, they are idiots **

**Who**

This isn't about the ministry is it?

_What about the ministry _

They've screwed things up as usual

_That's been happening for years why should Padfoot be angry _

**You should be the angry one Moony**

_Why?_

**That damn Umbridge got the minister to pass a law that disables werewolves and other half-humans from getting jobs and encourages wizard folk to hunt them down **

That bitch she should be Umbitch it's a much better name

_I always knew this day would come_

**Moony don't let the bitch get you down, ask Dumbledore to help, the ministry will listen to him**

_I doubt _

Are you doubting the great Dumbledore?

_No the ministry_

Good because Dumbledore rocks

**Too right he does **

_I am grateful for all he has done for me when he should of just turned me away_

**Great we've all gone Emo**

This is no time to attempt a joke Wormtail

**I wasn't joking **

_There'll be time for jokes later, i can't believe i just said that _

Moony old pal we'll deal with them

**Yeah a friend will get them back were as a BEST friend will hand you the shovel after killing them **

_Thanks Padfoot but i don't deserve you're friendship, any of you _

YES YOU DO

**Moony i know i joke about you being a werewolf but it's all good fun you're one of best friends and shall always be**

Hear, hear

_I still think you're wrong _

**Stop being an Emo and get it through you're thick skull WE ARE YOUR FREIND AND WE WILL NEVER STOP BEING YOUR FREIND YOU DESERVE OUR FREINDSHIP **

_Alright i hear you loud and clear_

**You'd better or I'll give you something to be Emo about, Friends until death do us apart**

**Yeah!!**

Hell yeah!!!

_Once again thanks Padfoot _

**Let's get that umbitch **

**So who's going to hand the shovel? **

_It was a phase wormtail _

**I knew that **

Umbitch is a big fat bitch, the biggest bitch in whole wide world, all kids around sing like this...

**No time to make up songs Prongs we have to get her back now **

Spoil my fun why don't cha

Jenonca- they can be serious eh, no pun intended *laughs quietly*

Anyway please review hope you liked it


	13. Chapter 13

**Jenonca**- hey all, another chapter for this week yep good thing i got spare time on my hands now the autumn term for college is coming to a close. Enjoy, read and review please

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

**Peter **

_Prongs why are you staring at the ceiling_

Felt like it

**Has prongs gone insane **

_I'm under the impression he's been insane since he were born _

**Prongs stopping being an idget and get over it**

_I didn't know you were Irish Sirius _

**No Padfoot is after me lucky charms **

**Shut up Wormtail I'm not Irish **

_You know Wormtail that's stereotypical not all Irish people are after 'me lucky charms' _

**But that advert said so **

_Stop insulting the Irish Wormtail. Getting back to you James what's wrong _

**James?**

_Why isn't he looking at the parchment? _

_What are you doing Sirius? _

**Poking him what did you think i was doing**

_Hold on, what does he have to get over?_

**You finally notice what i wrote a couple of minutes ago how very ignorant off you **

**What's ignorant mean? **

_I was distracted by Wormtail insulting the Irish _

**And the chocolate bar in your pocket **

_What chocolate bar?_

**You know full well what chocolate bar chocoholic**

_Don't know what you're talking about _

**Really, then why are you trying to hide it without me seeing**

_I swear there's no chocolate bar in my pocket!!!_

Why should it matter, he always has chocolate on him

**ARRGH HE'S ALIVE **

**I made a bet with Moony that he couldn't last a week without a chocolate **

How long has it been?

**A day **

That's terrible Moony, you can't go a day without it

_Chocolate is the best, it's not my fault, blame the dairy chocolate factory for making this heavenly goodness_

Still a day is lame

_Give me a break it's nearly Christmas, i'm literally drowning in it....hmm drowning in chocolate _

**Smack moony he's drooling on the desk **

_Hey what was that for _

**Give me the bar and the money you owe **

_NO NOT MY PRECIOUS _

**GIVE IT**

_NO GET AWAY CHOCOLATE HATER, JAMES HELP ME HE'S STEALING MY DARLING CHOCCY _

That you eat

**I'll save you Remy **

Note to self NEVER steal Remus's chocolate...again

**Poor Padfoot**

More like poor desk

**And now they're both in detention **

At least it's not me

**What's up Prongs?**

The sky, clouds, sun, aeroplanes

**What are aeroplanes?**

**Just tell him mate**

Is Moony having an insane fit

**Defence profess took his chocolate, all of it off him **

52 BARS BLOODY HELL

**How did he store 52 bars in his pockets? **

**Magic duh!!**

**Oh right i knew that **

What i want to know is where he got the muggle chocolate from

**A mystery we shall never know!!!**

Don't be so dramatic it's not cool

**James, stop changing the subject and tell wormtail what's wrong **

No way

**Why do you want him to tell me Padfoot**

**Because it's funny **

Is not!!!

**Oh yes it i so wish i had a camera **

**What happened? **

Not telling you

**I'll tell you**

Don't you dare Padfoot

**Why didn't you tell me before it would of saved some time **

**Because i like keeping you in suspense **

**In what **

***roles eyes* keep you in waiting **

**Tell me now **

**Well Evans and our dear hopeless virgin James were fighting as usual; seriously mate you so need to get laid **

I'M NOT A VIRGIN

**Sirius i thought you were going to tell me **

**Alright keep your hair on, as i was saying during the fight Evans said she would rather kiss the next boy who passed by then him **

**So what's bad about that?**

**I haven't finished jeez, the next person to pass was snivellus and you know what happened next**

**No what**

**You're hopeless, she kissed snivellus**

**EWW**

**Haha **

It's not funny

**Was too you should of seen your face, it was priceless **

SHUT UP PADFOOT

**Oh by the way mate you so are a virgin **

Am not

**Oh right who did you shag?**

That bird what's her name at you're sixteenth

**I thought you were saving yourself for lily**

I got drunk alright

**Well at least you got laid unlike snivellus unless lily shagged him**

SHE DIDN'T

**Just saying she might off**

I'LL KILL YOU

**I wonder if Remus has stopped his insane fit yet. ... No he hasn't **

**Mr Wormtail would like to say that Messer Prongs is trying to kill Messer Padfoot,**** who gets killed by someone once a week, that he should be a ghost by now. Messer Prongs has ran out of class chasing Messer Padfoot, Messer Moony is still in his fit saying no my precious over and over, Weirdo. Messer Wormtail is bored so he will now go to sleep **

* * *

**Jenonca**- well that's the end of chapter of 13 hope you liked it please review


	14. Chapter 14

Jenonca- chapter 14 whoa i have i been mused up or what.

I don't own anything as usual

Please read and review, oh by the way thanks to those who have this story in their favs and on their alerts.

James

Sirius

Remus

Peter

**Not long to go to Christmas now **

**I know i love it,its great**

_Why do i get the feeling that the next few notes we do are about Christmas_

'**tis the season or whatever the saying**

Rudoph the red nose reindeer

**Had a very bright nose**

_And all of the other reindeers called him names _

**And they refused to give a woman to James **

**Rudoph didn't want them piss off our mate **

_Because he went mental when he didn't get lily to be his date _

**Poor James and Rudolph had to go the Christmas gathering on their own **

**They got drunk and sang Christmas songs **

_For james is an animagas and loved reindeers so _

**Poor Rudolph got piss out his skull**

**So Santa asked James to guild his sleigh tonight with his nose so bright**

**And James crashed into the girls dorms and lily woke with a fright **

**Dear old lily got up and slapped poor old james **

_Hold on how did she slap James if his was in his animagas form _

**I dunno, i swear prongs is like his animagas form, better not stand in the middle of the road mate or SPLAT **

SHUT UP

**Deer's are stupid you know, they go all cross eyed when a car comes and SPLAT **

I'M A STAG

**Same diff really, I know how about I run at you with a motorbike and see if you stay in the road next full moon **

I'M NOT STUPID

**Face it James deer's are stupid and stags **

What is this pick on the stag day?

_Where would you get a motorbike Sirius? _

**I have my ways, it'll fly too **

**How cool would that be?**

**Aw poor prongs has gone **

_Hasn't got the Christmas spirit _

**Poor prongs **

**Want sing another song**

_Is it dirty?_

**Err...no i don't think so**

_No thanks then_

**Spoil sport**

_That's our note ended today _

**Great a howler before Christmas just what i need **

**Damn Minnie and her hawk eyes**

**Jenonca- **well there you have it, hope you liked and once again please review


	15. Chapter 15

Jenonca- here's chapter 15 hope you all like it. Please read and review

I don't own anything at all well except my imagination as it's my own.

**IF YOU DON'T LIKE HEAVY SEXUAL TALK PLEASE SKIP THIS CHAPTER AS IT GOES INTO DETAIL OF USUAL GUY TALK ABOUT SEX, THAT THEY DO WHEN WOMEN AREN'T AROUND YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. THERE IS ALSO A MENTION ABOUT EXPERMENTATION OF WOMEN IF DON'T LIKE DON'T READ. **

**I was uncomfortable writing this but as i'm not homophobic i thought I'd write what guys really talk about as you know how dirty minded they can be not all guys but some are. Besides how could i not seeing as Sirius is the most dirty minded person out the four of them **

James

**Sirius **

_Remus _

**Peter**

Sirius

**I'm busy**

What are you drawing?

**Does it matter?**

_Its perverted isn't it?_

**No, what gave you that idea**

_Why are you staring at Mary then drawing on your parchment _

**Can't i check out hot women while being arti-what's the word? **

_Artistic_

**That's it **

**Padfoot can i have that drawing**

Why do you want it wormtail?

**Erm no reason**

_Why don't i believe you? _

Been hanging around us for too long

**You can borrow it later**

What for

**He's a wanker remember **

**I am not, what does wanker mean anyway**

You mean you don't know

**You're an idiot Pete it means you jack off **

_I thought you knew what it meant being British _

**Oh that's what it means i thought it was just an insult **

**It is, it implies you go solo rather than get any pussy **

_Can we please not talk about sex what if someone sees this? _

**Whatever prude **

To quote a movie Masturbation is a perfectly natural thing

_I don't want to talk about it_

**What if i talk about women masturbation?**

_They masturbate _

**Where have you been for the past few years?**

_I thought girls didn't do that _

**Well of course, why do you think they refuse sex if there's no foreplay**

_I highly doubt it _

**Girls are more innocent than guys **

**Yeah tell that to Paris Hilton **

Yeah they experiment as well as most are comfortable with their sexuality unlike guys

**The sole reason you hear more about lesbians than gays **

Some women are uncomfortable about it though

**Well yes if their straight and they don't like girl on girl action **

You heard what lily said ages ago girls like guy on guy action

**Some do not all**

How do you know?

**I asked a few of them, course a couple showed me why they prefer pussy man that was hot **

You watch lesbians go at it

**Don't ask don't get, i asked therefore i got there's a lesson for ya**

**Why do these things happen for you but not me?**

Looks like we got a Stifler in the house

**A what **

Stifler, you know Steve Stifler from American Pie, i like all of them but Steve is the best stifler

**Oh the guy who gets pussy all the time and is a jack ass**

**I'm not a jack ass**

But you do get pussy

**Well maybe if you guys weren't such cock blocks, you'd get pussy too**

_SHUT UP SIRIUS _

**You know James you and Jim have something in common **

What's that?

**You both want to shag nice goody-two-shoes red heads: I wonder if lily is nymphomaniac like the red head from American pie**

Her name was Michelle

**Who cares what her name was **

**Man she was kinky**

I hope lily is kinky like that

**I bet you do**

_Ok enough Sex talk it's nearly Christmas_

Yeah in a week or so

**Yay it's snowing **

**Wow it's snowing, we get that every year **

**I love snow **

_So do i_

**James what's up**

I'm imagining lily in one of those Santa outfits sold in Ann Summers

**Damn those are fine, hope Christy puts one on this year **

_You went into Ann Summers _

Padfoot dragged me in there

**It's was great though, i shagged the women who served us and boy did she give good service if you know what i mean**

We always know what you mean

_Damn it i thought this conversation was over_

**Don't know why you're being so prudish i found your Playwizard under your bed **

_I wondered where that went_

**Its good mate got any more**

_Nope _

**Shame i could do with more material over the holidays, less pussy then **

_Oh crap Slughorn is coming _

Phew he didn't see it

**End of lesson yay **

_I knew Sirius drew a dirty picture _

Of what

_Mary naked, i hate to admit it but he is a good drawer _

Jenonca- hope it wasn't too dirty for you please review as usual.


	16. Chapter 16

Jenonca- i know it's a week away but Merry Christmas, for those who don't celebrate Christmas happy holidays, depending on where you live in this world. Thought I'd put it now since I can't upload over the holidays.

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favouring this and putting this in alerts. **

**Anyway have a brilliant holiday and happy New Year** and i shall put up more in early 2010 most likely in second week of January. Since my Christmas will be long and i only have to study for my January exam I should have time to do a few chapters assuming my consumption of Christmas dinner and the usual chocolate pudding and other festive food doesn't affect my muse.

I don't own anything

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

**Peter **

**7 DAYS TO CHRISTMAS **

WE KNOW

**WE KNOW**

**But Christmas guys Christmas **

Hey Remus shut him up

**Remus?**

_Huh oh sorry I was too busy eating chocolate log to be pay attention_

**You're paying attention now**

_Does anyone get my sarcasm?_

Erm

**La de la**

***pulls a face***

_Apparently not_

**Was that sarcasm? **

_Was that a question_

**Touché **

**MINCE PIES **

Give me one then

**I don't like mince pies **

Padfoot mince pies are great

**Prefer apple pie **

_Last day of term today guys_

**Yep anyone up for a prank**

How can you ask that I'm always up for a prank?

**Yeah pranks are the whole point of existing **

_Nope that's chocolate_

**You and flipping chocolate**

_Don't hate the chocolate_

**Ice cream is better**

**Strawberry is best, what about you prongs**

Chocolate I'm not stupid

**I wasn't aware ice cream preference was an intelligence test **

_Hmm chocolate ice cream _

What is lily talking about?

**STALKER**

I'm going to ignore that

**James and giant peach**

What?

**Apparently her cousin, young one is performing in some school play called that**

**I read that when i was kid...well mum read to me**

_Is it good?_

**It's alright don't remember it much**

Oh some kid book then

**Have you guys done your Christmas shopping yet?**

**Yep got you a woman**

**Really!!!**

**No !! HAHA YOUR FACE**

_Sirius that was harsh _

**What have you got me? **

Find out when Santa brings you presents

_You still believe in Santa Peter_

**Why not, he is real, mum told me **

_He's not_

**Is **

_Not_

**Is **

_Not_

**IS**

_NOT _

**IS**

_NOT_

**SHUT UP**

What, you always do it Remus it's payback time

_Whatever_

I'm off to kiss lily under mistletoe

**It won't work**

This time i have a plan

_Well if you end in the hospital wing don't blame us _

So nice that my friends have faith in me

_Well if you hadn't done a hundred times already then we would have faith_

**Five, four, three, two, one, there we go**

Thanks for saving me Wormtail

**Everyone gets one, tell him Sirus**

**Apparently everyone gets one**

Right I've got to go, need to wrap presents

**Yes lesson is over let's go out in the snow**

**Alright**

Why are you grinning evilly?

**I haven't forgotten last year prongs**

_Right!!_

**Run Prongs run**

**Jenonca**- Padfoot *shakes head* isn't he great


	17. Chapter 17

Jenonca- hey all hope you had a good Christmas and new year, anyway onto the chapter.

I don't own Harry Potter or anything

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

**Peter **

Well term has started once again

_It went by so quickly_

**What did?**

**The holiday's idiot **

**Oh right i knew that**

So what do you guys want to do?

**Sleep**

_You slept all through the holidays _

**And**

Seriously mate you need to see a healer

**What for his head**

**Oi **

Are you saying Sirius is stupid?

**Err...no?**

You were

**Was not **

Was too

_SHUT UP_

**Why isn't anyone joking? **

_There's more to life than jokes_

Oh really like what

_Chocolate _

**Shut it about the damn chocolate**

**I want butter beer**

_That was random_

**So**

**I'm tired **

Piss off then

_It's not even lunch yet_

**I know**

**Someone say something funny**

**You're retarded **

_That's not funny that's mean_

**And i care because? **

Geez you sound like a Slytherin

**Do not **

Do too

_I repeat shut up_

**I repeat you're retarded **

_Well its kids gloves off here isn't it_

What

_Nothing muggle expression_

**Let me sleep damn it**

_No Padfoot _

**Why not**

_Because i said so_

**You sound like my mother **

_Oh great i sound like a banshee _

**You do when you're singing **

_Do not _

**Right prongs**

Yep you're terrible moony

_I'm not...right Pete_

**Nope you're not**

LIAR

**I'm not lying**

**You are too**

_At least i don't crack glasses like you do Sirius _

**I can sing **

_Can't_

**Can too**

_Cannot _

You sound like a cat being strangled

**Don't**

At least you don't sound like a walrus

**Who does? **

You do Pete

**Do not **

_Ok we established we all can't sing now will you shut it _

**I CAN SING**

**I'm bored **

_Go find something to do _

**Like what **

Hexing Lockhart

**Who?**

The fourth year Hufflepuff

_The idiot one who thinks he's the best looking guy ever_

That's the one

**i need a firewiskey every time he's around **

i know, i know

_What?_

Let's play the drinking game

**Huh?**

Every time Lockhart says something annoying or stupid we take a shot

**I'm up for it **

_I'll most likely be pissed with in a minute but I'll give it a shot_

**All right, is he really that stupid? **

_Yes _

**I still don't know who he is**

_Believe me you don't want too_

**As he's so annoying why don't we put him in the same room as Voldemort **

_Do us all a favour_

Wouldn't work Voldemort would kill him in a second

_Like i said will do us all a favour _

**Wow moony that's mean **

_You wouldn't think so if you met Lockhart _

**Is he worse than snivellus **

_Put this way Snape is paradise compared to Lockhart _

**You're joking**

_Sad fact is i wish i was _

**Well night everyone**

_Its day time_

**Don't care**

_Why am i friends with you again_

**Because i rule **

**Did you just roll you eyes at me?**

_Yeah so what if i did _

Jenonca- well that's chapter 17 done please kindly take your time to review i appreciate feedback.


	18. Chapter 18

Jenonca- sorry everyone I had a personal problem come up five days after I last updated. My house burnt down so i lost my laptop and everything else including the new chapters I had written to be put up. So yeah I've been busy sorting out my new house with my family and trying to get everything back, which I've only just managed to do.

Anyway here is a new chapter and I will try to update regularly.

I don't own harry potter or anything else. i have changed peter to this _**peter **_because it wont come up with lines for his words

James

**Sirius **

_Remus _

_**Peter **_

_Lily _

_What's up Sirius? _

**Nothing **

_Really then why are you humming wayward son _

**I heard it on a cool show **

_What show? _

**Supernatural, I swear dean was based on me **

_Supernatural what's that? _

**A show about the supernatural duh **

Dean isn't based on you Padfoot

**Yeah he is **

Oh really how then

**We eat a lot, sleep with women and are hot and did I mention we both have a younger brother **

But unlike you dean knows how to use a gun

**So do I **

No you don't, do you even know what a gun is

**Err yeah, it's a weird silver thingy that you shoot at people or something like that**

Dean also gets on with his brother

**Well maybe if my parents and Reg weren't dicks I would get on with my little bro**

Touché

_**AHHHHH! NO SNAPE IS A DEMON **_

_What!_

_**Snape has black eyes **_

_So _

_**The demons in supernatural have black eyes**_

Told you Pete shouldn't of watch it but no you said only a pussy would freak out over it, now look what you done jerk

**Bitch. Done, what have I done? **

_I don't get it bitch, jerk you two are useing different insults for each other _

**It's a supernatural thing **

Yep I'm Sam and he's Dean

**Yep and your Castiel Moony **

**Hold on I just realised something, you can't be Sam he's a nerd Prongs **

But a cool one just forget the books

**Fine then Remus is Sam too for the book part and you're him for cool part **

Who's Castiel than?

**Err Pete because he's an idiot **

CASTIEL IS NOT AN IDOIT

**Aww does someone have a man crush on an angel **

I don't have a man crush dick. You're just jealous of Castiel because he's more liked than Dean

**No he's not Dean Rules. Cas is ignorant **

_**Err I have a question**_

_Fire away Pete please I'm getting a headache due to this strange bickering _

_**Why are prongs and Padfoot acting out of character? **_

_Because their idiots _

_May I join this conversation? _

Of course lily

**Might as well since you're going to marry prongs**

_Over my dead body _

You wound me lily

_Good_

**Just get cupid to throw an arrow at her and she's yours **

No thanks because cupid will hug me naked.

_**Prongs what's wrong you're shaking **_

Naked cupid is my nightmare, stop laughing Sirius

_You like supernatural Potter_

Yeah it's brilliant

_I know it's my addition _

I thought your addition was the crap book what's it name

_No I'm off that but I will never go off supernatural _

**OH MY GOD THE WORLD IS GOING TO END EVANS AND JAMES ARE HAVING A CONVERSATION WITHOUT HER BEATING HIM **

Thanks Padfoot you've just ruined it now

_Anyway! Potter who's your favourite character?_

Sam. What about yours?

_Castiel, it was Sam but I prefer Cas now, he's adorable _

**OI what's wrong with Dean **

_Nothing he's ok but I prefer Cas or Sam _

**No one likes Dean **

_Why he so upset about it _

He thinks Dean based on him

_Ha ha you're not serious are you? _

NO LILY YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT

_Why?_

**He's not Sirius I am **

_Lame joke Black _

That's why I told you shouldn't have

_As I was saying Black Dean may have a lot of characteristics as you but he is not based on you._

**What's wrong with us aren't we good enough for you?**

_No you treat women with disrespect so does dean. I dislike that about him but I will admit he is side splitting funny _

**That's dean alright funny man **

Castiel is better

**Haha you do have a man crush on him I knew it **

Do not

**Maybe I should write some fan what you call it on you two**

_Fanfiction _

**Yeah that's it. **

**James walked in to his hotel home, standing in the corner was an angel he met a few nights before when he had ran into the Winchesters. James grinned as the angel turned around. Castiel he said what are you doing here? **

Sirius don't you dare

**Castiel looked him through emotionless eyes that our dear old prongsie loved so much. **

Sirius I'm warning you

**Castiel strode over not quite sure how to begin saying what he wanted to. James stood frozen to the spot, he eyes slowly gazed up the angel's body taking in the trench coat, this was the thing james loved most about castiel, it made him appear even hotter. **

SIRIUS

**Castiel curious at why the human wasn't expecting an answer, he knew it was now or never dean and the abomination known as Sam Winchester were busy fighting demons. **

FOR FUCK SAKE SIRIUS

**James gulped as Castiel placed a hand on his stomach slowly guiding a finger down to the waist band of his jeans. The angel though innocent knew what he wanted. He wanted the human so bad. **

SIRIUS ORION BLACK I SWEAR IF YOU GO ON ANYMORE I WILL KILL YOU

**Unable to fight it anymore the raven head attacked the angel's mouth, Castiel let out a moan of pleasure slipping his hand into james's jeans, grabbing his throbbing member. **

_Sirius I think that's enough I don't think our poor ickle Prongs can handle anymore _

_Why'd you stop there? _

**Oh make you hot did it Evans **

_No you just really good at writing, have you done fanfictions before _

**No I'm just awesome **

_Whatever you say Sirius _

_**Why am I here **_

**Because you have no other friends**

_Can't you ever be nice? _

**Not in my nature to be nice to rats **

_What, what have rats got to do with this_

**Nothing Pete has pets rats at home I hate them **

_Ok why do I sense you've just lied to me?_

_Because Sirius usually does_

_Yeah that'll be it, oh got to go Mary wants me _

_Bye lily _

I love you

_Tell that to Castiel and you're golden _

Lily I'm not gay

**Ha ha looks likes lily is going to ship Castiel / James **

_**Huh at we've done is talk about supernatural anyone else notice **_

_Hit him for pointing out the obvious _

**Ok **

_**Oww not so hard **_

**That's what she said or he I could go either way with this **

_Right I've got homework so out of this conversation, you three better do yours too_

**Why its just homework not the end of the world**

_It will be if I have to kill you_

**You wouldn't would you**

_Try me_

**No thanks I prefer girls**

_How is that an innuendo?_

Everything is innuendo to him

**What to go prank Prongs**

Not with you I don't

**Why**

Do you really have to ask?

**Remus what's wrong with him**

_You're not Serious, oh wait forget that you are, you have to be Sirius because you always land us in _Sirius _consequences _

**Not cool, Moony not at all **


	19. Chapter 19

JENONCA- hey all, here's the next chapter, whoa later than I expected. Please enjoy.

As usual I don't own anything

Why do I get the feeling that someone on this site is going to ship James /Castiel in some crossover fiction? How weird would that be, but hey I've seen weirder things.

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

_**Peter**_

_Special guest_

**Prongs, get Moony's attention **

Why

**Because I asked so nicely**

Whatever, I'll do it

**Whoa prongs I said get his attention him not harm him! **

Well, you didn't say how

_**Why'd you set Remus on fire? **_

No reason

Why did you want me to distract him for anyway?

**I wanted to find out if the book he is reading, is a dirty novel **

_**Dirty novel**_

In other words you wanted to see if he has porn

_My book isn't porn _

**Yeah, you keeping telling your self that **

_Its not _

**Than why does it describe sex? **

Haha in your face

**Don't know why you won't admit it. You have play wizard**

_That's different, i'm ashamed of that _

**How's it different? **

_Just is_

Why are you ashamed of porn its normal for a teenage boy?

**Moony isn't a teenage boy. He's a weird adult stuck in teen wolf body **

_**Yeah, he's like a freaking teacher **_

Maybe he will be one day

**NOOO don't say it Prongs, Moony can't be a teacher it's against Marauder code of honour!**

NOO MOONY IS GOING TO BE A TEACHER NOW. I'VE DOOMED US ALL!

_How am going to be one just because you said I would?_

_**Yeah it's like Sirius getting thrown in Azkaban for killing someone. **_

**That'll only happen if it's Bella-I like to kill and main-trix, but then I should be named a national hero for killing the psycho bitch **

_That's you cousin Sirius_

**And that means I have to be nice to her, how naïve are you **

_Whatever Sirius _

**Ooh nice come back wolfy**

_I thought you were going to stop that _

**Stop what **

_You know what _

Sirius stop acting stupid, i know it's an act

_It's an act how is that possible_

He scored 100% on our defence O.W.L paper and he got 9 O.

_**He did! Why didn't you tell me Sirius?**_

**Traitor **

_You're smart Sirius? Does this means you actually opened a book_

**Ha yeah right**

_I knew it was too good to be true _

**I can be smart without opening a book**

Yeah, by stealing lily's notes

**Hey! You weren't supposed to tell**

Remus would have got it out me sooner or later, besides paddy old pal lily knows and she wants to kill you

_Well she'll have to get in line coz everyone wants to kill him _

_**I don't **_

You don't really count peter

_**Why not**_

Coz padfoot hates you remember

_**No he doesn't he's just saying that...right?**_

**Don't know **

_**It's simple Sirius, you either hate me or you don't, which is it **_

**Figure it out yourself pussy **

Guys!

**Yeah **

Minnie is coming over to us

**Ah crap!**

_Less of the language Mr. black _

**Sorry Minnie **

_i suggest you do not proceed to call me Minnie from this moment on Mr Black_

**Aww come on lighten up**

_I am your professor, if i do not 'lighten up' as you implied it is within my right not to do so_

_Professor aren't you telling us off for this _

Moony don't get us into detention.

_Usually i would Mr Lupin, however i have a more demanding obligation that i must attend to or the headmaster will not be pleased._

**You're putting paper work before us Minnie I'm so hurt **

_Can it Mr Black_

**You know we're your favourites **

_I assure you I do not favour students it would be inconsiderate of me to do so, i treat all students as equals as you well know!_

_Told you so Sirius _

**Whatever Moony **

_Now i suggest the four of you partake in your assignments, I expect you four to hand them in at the end of the lesson _

_Yes professor _

**Teachers pet **

_I may not be giving you detention Mr Black but that doesn't not mean i won't dock points from my own house _

**Oh please its just points, you know full well you want the house cup.**

_Don't test me Mr Black _

**Do your worst**

Thanks Sirius you're a real pal.

_Very well 150 points from Griffindore _

**So what Evans can get those points back.**

_Don't make matters worse for your self Black _

**Please Minnie you've never kicked me out of class so you're not as mean as you claim to be **

_You are very lucky Miss McDonald needs my help Black or i would have made matters worse for you _

**Always knew you loved me Minnie.**

JENONCA- well there chapter 19 finished i hope you liked please comment and i will try to get the other chapter up as soon as i can


	20. Chapter 20

Jenonca- whoa time flies oops. Well here is chapter 20 sorry for the wait. For those whom have stuck with this fanfiction despite the delay, a big thank you to you and enjoy this new chapter, I guess chapter isn't the right word; notes would be more like it.

As per usual I do not own Harry Potter or any other trademarks that are mentioned.

James

**Sirius **

_Remus _

**Peter **

_Lily _

**I'm bored **

_Why does every note begin with I'm bored _

**Not every note**

_Most of time its does _

**Whatever wolfie**

**Why don't you guys watch the footie world cup instead of arguing? **

_What is footie? _

**Football it's a muggle sport **

_You know this how_

**I just do**

**I showed him it **

**Pete, you traitor **

**How did I betray you? **

**No one was supposed to know you showed it to me **

**They weren't? **

**Of course not dipshit **

_Your vocabulary never ceases to amaze me _

**Quit with the sarcasm already it's not my fault I don't have vocabulary superpowers **

_It's not a power it's called learning_

Learning are you serious, don't answer that Padfoot

**I wasn't going to Prongsie. You know I rather learn the best way to get Melissa to shag me **

You still can't get her to let you slither in to her chamber of secrets

**Ha ha very funny. **

Why won't she shag you?

**She wants to get married first **

Ha that'll happen when snape washes his hair

_He probably does wash it you know _

**Yeah I'll believe that when Minnie lets her hair down **

_Can't you ever say anything nice?_

Sirius, say something nice, that's like wishing for the moon or something

**Too right**

_And everyone says I'm the dysfunctional one_

**Who does?**

_You and people at this school_

**Do you want me to hex them?**

_No thanks_

**Aww i never get to hex anyone**

_You just hexed snape _

**That's different **

_Why _

**Because he exists duh **

You tell him mate

**I need to pee**

**Go do that then, why tell us**

**So you won't ask where I'm going **

**I never do retard or unitard i can go either way here**

_Doesn't anyone have homework these days?_

**I care why**

_Wow someone's grouchy _

**I'm not**

He can't help it remus, he isn't get laid and very soon he will commit himself into a sex rehab clinic because no other bird will shag him due to his genital herpes.

**OI I don't have genital herpes **

_Hold on, how do you; know he has genital herpes James _

Girls talk

_Oh right _

**I'm going to dump what's her name later, damn what is it Lisa no that's not right, Tricia, Marie?**

It's Melissa

**That's it**

_Make sure she knows because not talking to her doesn't qualify as a break up _

**Yes it does **

_No it doesn't _

I'm with Remus on this one

**How's Evans **

_Don't change the subject _

I don't know

**You don't know, aren't you stalking her or something**

Hey its not stalking, its called observing and I've been busy

**With what **

With Quidditch as you very well know, being captain is no walk in the park

**Whoa if Quidditch is all you do then you never get Evans, not that you would anyway **

I will get her one day damn it

**The day you get Evans is the day I dance in a hula costume with a coconut bra, on the roof of the green houses **

_Ooh i'm so taking pictures_

**It'll never happen so save your breath**

_Oh it will I propose a bet my friend, I bet lily and James will be together before the end of 7__th__ year _

**Unless your physic, it's on like donkey Kong. Wait, what do I get if I win**

_I'm your slave for year and your mine when i win_

**Might as well be my slave now**

_Nope I'll take my chances _

Hey stop betting on my love life!

**What love life **

Thanks for pointing that out!

_Sirius is just being mean because he has never been with a girl long enough for it to count as a relationship_

**I have **

_Name one girl _

**Megan **

_Making out in the closet for five minutes isn't a relationship _

**It is too and by the way it was fifth teen minutes **

_Fifth teen how does that justify your point _

Wasn't Megan flakey

**Yep**

Dude I feel for ya

**I didn't know you were a woman. **

Grow up

_At least James is serious about girl unlike you_

**Does it count if I give them "Sirius" loving **

No!

_What are you five?_

Of course he is, do you even need to ask

**Hey at least I'm not jaded before my time **

_Who acts likes a five year old_

**Immaturity is sexy**

If that's true then I would gotten lily years ago

**Whatever at least I don't have names picked out like you **

Ok first of all, that was random and second what does that have to do with immaturity

**Relationships, your woman won't have a choice when it comes to naming your children. Of course you'd have to find a woman who'd take you **

Any girl would be lucky to have me but bless the starsm my heart will forever belong to lily

**Aww that was so...gay **

Shut it!

_What names have you picked out?_

Harry it's my grandfather's name, he made me promise to name my first son after him I like the name anyway so I thought why not

**Harry no way is my godson being called Harry its Elvendork or nothing **

Do you want my child beaten up and fyi Remus is godfather

**No he's not IM YOUR BEST MATE**

And that's means you're responsible

**I don't have to be responsible to be a godfather **

_Yes you do Padfoot, besides the name will be Harry because Lily likes that name too._

**So Evans isn't going to be his wife so HA!**

_Yeah well when I win the bet and Lily and James end up with a Son, I want to be there when you suggest Elvendork _

I hope my future Son Harry has Lily eyes and my looks think about the chicks he'd pull

**But first Lily needs to love you first**

**That or Rohypnol **

Whoa Peter that's uncalled for

**Yeah a stalker he maybe but Prongs isn't a rapist **

_I surprised you even know what Rohypnol is Pete_

**Certainly explains a lot**

**Hey I read it about in the Paper **

I'm not a stalker padfoot

**Oh right observer same thing **

**I really hope your future son looks nothing like you prongs**

Why what's wrong with me?

_Ah what what's wrong with James the million Gallon question _

Why am I friends with you two again

**Because I'm adorable and Remus is nice to pretty much everyone **

_Except lockhart _

**Yeah lockhart don't count **

You're adorable! Don't make me laugh

**I am too im kawii **

What?

**Japanese for cute **

_I'm not even going to ask _

Is that what you tell mothers, so they don't lock their daughters away when you come around?

**I'm not that bad**

Oh please you snogged a girl then dump her five seconds later

**She was an idiot **

_Perfect girl for you then _

**Are you implying I'm an idiot**

_Nope it's a fact that reach front page _

**No one cares about me **

We know

**I need some Haribo **

What's Haribo

**Sweets **

_Love them shame they never made chocolate ones _

**Won't you forget about the chocolate Remus? **

_I will, when you stop gifting girls with your semen _

**So never then **

When Sirius dies his tombstone will read here lays the king of the sluts

**No it won't, it will read Sirius Black killed by drapery **

**What the hell, how can a curtain kill me? **

**I don't know **

_You're definitely stupid enough to be killed by one _

**You know when I rule the world; you three will be my slaves and will only shag hags. **

Aww Remus we hurt his feelings

_Really because I didn't even realise he even knew what they were. _

Right I'm off Lily is upset

**Make her slap you, that'll cheer her up **

Will not

**It would cheer me up **

**Go on let her slap you it'll be the only "touch" you'd get from her **

_Your so perverted there should be a magazine for it _

**There is, it's called PORN**

_I walked right into that one didn't I_

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Lily

What now Potter

Are you ok? I'm worried about you

Does looks like I'm ok

You been gone for days

I been busy, my life doesn't resolve around you no matter how much you ego tells you differently 

Talk to me Lilykins, no smart comment I swear

I'm fine 

No offense you don't look fine

Have you thought that maybe its that time of the month 

Nope if it was, you'd be killing me right now

I thought you said no smart comment 

Aw come on, you walked into that one.

Just bugger off Potter

I get it. you don't want to talk

Do you really?

Well to be honest, not really

You're too curious for your own good you know that Potter

Err hello you're the one who's to curious for their own good. I lost count the amount of times you've gone and solved something caught your interest

Have not 

Oh please Dumbledore told us NOT to go into the fifth floor corridor in forth year because it was off limits. You wanted to know what was in there so you when and looked

So did you 

Yes but I'm supposed to because I'm a prankster, you're goody girl Evans

I can't help it; I need to know what's hidden or it'll bug me 

You know curiosity killed the cat

Yeah well satisfaction brought it back 

Oh nice one

I can't believe we're having a pleasant conversation

It's known to happen in a blue moon

Ha got you to smile success

You're ridiculous

I know I'll help you against a Dementor

Lame as ever Potter

I can't help it, I wasted all my good ones in forth year

Good ones? really they where just as lame back them 

aww just when I thought you was being nice to poor old me, who'd do anything for you

It's not like you would die for me 

I would and I'd do it more than once because that's how much I love you

It's not love Potter, its lust you're confusing the two 

I'm not

Oh please even if I ever did give you a chance you'd shag me then leave me, it's all about the chase for you 

I have you know I'm nothing like Sirius I actually love you and would love to wake up with you every day

Yeah I'll believe that when I see it. 

You will someday you know, eventually you will say yes

Don't hold your breath 

I don't need to when you've already taken it from me.

Jenonca- yeah I know James is a bit sappy but who isn't when they are love. Thanks for reading please review. Hopefully if everything goes to plan I should have another note up soon.


	21. Chapter 21

Jenonca- sorry about the long wait but I haven't felt like writing in the past couple of months as I lost my dad back in June. Thank you for sticking with this and please enjoy the chapter. I have also done a conversation between lily, Alice and Mary.

James Mary

**Sirius Alice **

_Remus_ lily 

_**Peter **_

_Is it just me or is our defence teacher an idiot_

Of course moony

**How can you ask such a stupid question mate?**

_I guess he has rotted my brain. We aren't learning anything_

So shall we ditch class then?

**He won't notice seeing as he's absorbed in his blatant bull crap**

_If we ditch we will just be hanging around the castle walls until lunch _

_**That's always fun **_

**For you but for those of us who like to do interesting things it's not **

_What exactly do you mean by interesting? _

_**I don't even want to know **_

I know and I don't want the visual

**Aww come mate im sexy **

Always knew you were gay

**Are we back to that, im not gay.**

_Yeah and I'm not a werewolf _

**Oh so you're allowed to joke about your furry little problem but when I do its racism **

_Racism, I never said that I just asked you not to call me wolfie._

**Whatever**

Chill mate for the love of merlin you two are always arguing

_They just need to shag _

**What the hell Evans **

_Clearly you two have repressed sexual feelings for one another that you are channelling into hostility _

Lily I'm pretty sure they don't

**Of course not **

_Don't be ridiculous _

_Well the signs are obvious black you intentionally wind Remus up so he will get angry with you. remus you keep pointing out black is gay and try to annoy him. I think you guys need to shag and get it over with because there is only so much I can take of your arguing. _

_Lily you're wrong. Sirius and I fight because it's a clash of our personalities. You on other hand just described what you have with james. He admits it you don't, so do us a favour, shag james and get it over with because you clearly have repressed sexual feelings for him. _

_I do not. _

_Yes you do _

Thanks remus she's gone.

_I stand by what I said. _

You're wrong mate if she did lily wouldn't hex me every time I see her.

_Like I said repressed sexual feelings are the reason she hexes you_

**Yeah right if that was true the prongs would have shagged her ages ago**

_**I'm confused **_

**Well that's not surprising**

What's confused you now Pete

_**I'm confused are we ditching class or not **_

_You're always confused _

_**No im not**_

**Yeah you are so confused; you make it appear to be a new fashion statement **

_That's not funny and doesn't even make sense_

Sirius I think you have lost your talent for brilliant jokes

**Don't say that or think it, I have never been so insulted in my life **

It was bound to happen at some point people lose it after a while

**I haven't lost I just need better topics **

I thought a true prankster could make a joke out of anything

_Apparently not _

**I can! I just need a moment **

_Making excuses as usual. _

At least they aren't as lame as his homework excuses

_You mean like the time in our 3__rd__ year when he said that mantiore ate his homework instead of him. _

_**That's was kind of funny when he was acting out the story **_

True but he ended up in the forbidden forest for detention and really did run into manitore

_How did that thing get there? _

_**I think it was hagrid pet**_

_Sounds about right _

I remember laughing so hard when Sirius pissed his pants

**I did not piss my pants, they were already wet. I fell over before running into that monster **

Yeah you fell over into unicorn piss; I mean how else you explain the piss smell

_Exactly _

Sirius you can try fool us all you want but we know the truth

**For the last time I didn't piss my self **

Sirius would you like some huggies when we next go into the forest

**What the hell are huggies **

Muggle nappies

**I do not need nappies I can control my bladder thank you **

_**Yeah you can until you scream like a little girl **_

**Who said anything about screaming? **

_**I was there Padfoot you scream so high I thought your balls had gone back up into your body **_

_How high was this scream? _

_**Imagine the scream little girls give when Justin beiber comes on stage **_

_Omg Sirius is a little girl, that explain why he spends three hours getting ready every day _

**I can't help if my hair takes ages to control**

Who cares its only hair padfoot

**Oh excuse me for not wanting to have a bird's nest like you potter **

Oh im potter now, oh padfoot hates me, oh how sad I feel right now, oh padfoot my dear friend I can't live without you!

**Stop smirking! I'm going to kill you in your sleep potter, you too wormtail **

_**Why me?**_

**You told them I scream like a little girl, which isn't even true dickhead **

Alright calm down pads, we're just messing

_I always knew you had anger issues Sirius. Also prongs I'm the sarcastic one not you!_

Aww moony old pal you're just jealous I do it better

_You really don't prongs, no one can beat me _

Since when were you egotistic Remus

_I have my moments but I suppose you two have rubbed off me a bit _

Hey I'm not egotistic

**I know I am and I really don't care because I am the best**

_Prongs you are egotistic, why do you think lily is always telling you deflate your large head._

I know padfoot is egotistic since he handed a blank essay to our defence teacher, smirking as he did it.

**I have you know it wasn't blank, I wrote on it, I didn't do the essay as I know it won't be useful later in life. Which true by the way?**

_That was tame even for you_

Well I'm not always a dick

But you are sometimes

**Yeah and unlike some people im not afraid to admit, I know I'm better than some people, come on I ooze so much confidence they should rename it super cool Sirius. **

That's lame mate

**Is not I am super cool **

_Yeah sure you are_

**My fan girls think I am **

Yeah but your fan girls are idiots just like you

**Oi! How many times do I have to tell you I am not an idiot!**

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**Lily what cha doing **

Can't you write like a normal person? 

**I can but I know this annoys ya lol **

Seriously Al

Aww come on lily-bean, what's up with you

Potter is annoying me 

**Is he annoying you as much as he did last Valentine's Day, when he had those dwarfs dress up a cupid and send you love notes all day?**

Yes! He gave that idiot lockhart an idea. He's been campaigning for the cupid dwarfs to be made mandatory for every Valentine's Day. 

**Oh the horror, I am being serious for once**.

Well, you can blame potter!

When in doubt always blame James.

**Good one Mary**

Since when were you on first name terms with him 

**Jealous dear lily-kins **

Hell no 

I've always been on first name terms with James

Seriously, well you learn something new everyday 

I wonder what Sirius is doing today

Mary stop it, he's an idiot

But he's so god damn sexy

Can we please talk about something that won't make me throw up?

**Oh I'm sorry James is the only one you find sexy**

Shut it Alice

**Look likes someone is having their aunt flow. **

As a woman that really isn't funny Alice

**It wasn't mean to be. Who do you think I am, a 12 year old boy! I have never been so insulted.**

Try writing that without smirking Al 

**Ok point taken. **

Wait does that make Sirius a 12 year old as he always says Remus is having his time of the month.

Seeing as this is black it wouldn't surprise me he has a mind of a child 

**What's with the joke thought, it kind of makes me think Remus is secretly a girl. **

I doubt it

Right enough of this topic. Please talk about something else.

Ok when are going to confess to James that you love him.

I don't love him! Hate is more like it.

**You know there is thin line between love and hate.**

That's just saying 

**Mary I think we need to take Lily to the hospital wing!**

Why

**She has a case of denial syndrome**

You can't make denial into a syndrome Al, that harsh as there are people who have syndromes that they wish they didn't.

**Ok fair point but I still think you're in denial **

If anyone is in denial its potter, he thinks we will end up married, which will happen when hell freezes over. Seeing as there is no hell, it won't ever happen. 

Ok come Lils I seen your staring at him.

**Staring! More like glaring at him for being an obnoxious prat!**

**Ok whatever you say lily-kins **

What are you doing Mary?

Imaging yours and James babies, they are going to be so adorable

And will remain completely fictional 

**You never know we might even be fictional ourselves **

Alice don't break the forth wall and you know we are perfectly real!

**Your babies will be real. **

You're right they will be real as they won't be Potters 

**Yeah you keep telling yourself that.**

God what is everyone obsession with me getting with Potter. It won't happen. 

Because he loves you duh

**No one says duh anymore Mary**

Well I do and I will bring it back in fashion.

Potter doesn't love me, he loves the chase. 

Wake up Lily he will do anything for you.

I've had enough I'm out of this conversation. I wish for once I could go one day with either of you mentioning Potter!

**Chill lily-kins **

I think we have annoyed her enough today Al.

**Fair point but it is funny seeing her get so worked up at James!**

She will realise she loves him one day and then there will be cute little Potters with black hair and green eyes.

**True that**

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Jenonca- so what do you think? i might add more of lily and her friends in another chapter i might even put them with the marauders but I'm not sure at the moment. I don't know when the next chapter will be up but hopefully my muse stays and I can get one up quick but it all depends on my mood.


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